Wear Them

Adventures In Nursing My Little Guy

Mother and children, a photo by blmurch on Flickr...La Recoleta, located in Argentina.

I am irritated more than I would ever have imagined! Sometimes to the point that I just want to cringe and throw him off of me.(sounds bad, but true...eek.) It does hurt a little bit, but I can get over that. I just seem to be more irritated more than ever since I have been pregnant and nursing my toddler. I always thought that I would let Will self-wean when he as ready. Some days I get really sad at the thought of not nursing him anymore and other days I think it would be nice to prepare emotionally and physically for the next child. I know that some mothers would say," oh just tough it out for your child. He needs you"...and others would say," What?! He is still nursing?"

Well, after nursing Will for 2 1/2 years I can honestly say it has been so worth it!! It has been such a rewarding journey. Of course there have been a few struggles, mainly about what others in our culture say about extended breastfeeding, but I could not have imagined it any other way. Nursing Will has been the absolute best way to comfort him, give him nutrition and nourishment (especially with a dairy intolerance), it has been the best way to get him to sleep and a wonderful way to bond and provide security for him. But when does it end? It has to end sometime right?

There is not a timeline or a book or a person who can put a weaning date on the calendar. I have learned that nursing Will has become about a relationship and is not just something we do on a daily basis. And in relationships it takes two. My feelings matter just like his do, and at this point since I am pregnant I also have a second child to think about. I know many mothers who have successfully breastfed two or more children at a time. It is a beautiful thing!

Personally I have analyzed my situation...

-I sometimes think that my readiness to give it quits out weighs his. I just want to scream really loud, and he is not irritated, in pain, or uncomfortable. He is just doing what he has always done. This irritation is a result of tender nipples and being pregnant- not Will nursing. This is not something that I want to push on him if he may not be ready. Is this feeling just short lived? Will I mother better if I wean him? There would be less irritation and negative feelings.

When I think about it we have already naturally started the weaning process. At 10 months old he started eating a little bit of solid food. That is actually the first step in weaning. And right around when he turned two we made the decision to stop nursing him at night because it was making the bed (where we all slept together) very uncomfortable at night with him moving all over the place and waking up way to much with persistence to nurse when really all he needed at that point was comfort and love and knowing we were still there. That was actually pretty easy. I just told him that I would nurse him to sleep and then if he wakes up in the middle of the night I would cuddle him and not nurse him until the sun came up. After we moved and got settled last fall we also set up his own bed in him own room. We have always welcomed him into our bed when he woke up in the night, but stayed firm about not nursing him until the sun came up. Of course some nights he was more persistent than others, but usually telling him a story and giving him water and sometimes a few crackers would settle him back to sleep. We did this up until about 3 months ago when he randomly just started sleeping all night! wow! I did not think that day would ever come. He was one who would never sleep longer than 3-4 hours ever. Once he started sleeping all night it was kind of scary for me because I realized how big he was getting!

Also for a while now he has accepted other ways of being comforted and has realized that if we were in a place where nursing was not easy, grocery store, etc., he would be able to wait until we were in a convenient place. And then sometimes he would forget about it later and it left nursing for naps and bedtime and sometimes in the morning when he woke up. He really didn't ask to often other than those times...so back to recently while being pregnant and irritated. What we decided to do was to limit nursings. To distract him when he asked or to keep him busy so he would not ask. Thad started putting him to bed almost every night and in the morning we would get out of bed and say how about breakfast?! He is always ready to go down for breakfast and play with his cars and animals. So that really just leaves nap time. With out even realizing it weaning has really come along way. At that point I really had no other plan and the hurt and irritation started to go away! We just took it day by day.

Of course I would do anything for my children no matter what it took out of me, but does my son need a little nudge? As a parent I feel like guiding my child to the next face of life is one of my biggest jobs. Maybe this is time and all he needs is a little encouragement and then maybe then I will know if he is truly ready to wean or not. That was the case with having him sleep in his own bed and with giving him solid food. It brings lots of tears to my eyes thinking about never bonding with Will again in this way. He is growing up so fast! sniff. sniff. My midwife who tandem nursed her children gave me some really good advice. Along with reading "Adventures in Tandem Nursing" by Hilary Flower.- To look at my child's needs, to carefully consider my own needs, get lots of support from others, and just start somewhere. Very simple.

I thought to myself that if he is ready to wean then looking ahead there is a new relationship for him and I to develop. Showing him love and security in new ways. And, well in the last 3 weeks things have been a little different. Will decided to stop nursing correctly. If you know anything about breastfeeding you know that your child must open his mouth wide...Will refused to do this. He was sucking on my nipple like a straw. This hurt soooo bad!!!! I made him stop right away. He instantly left me with sores and cracks. I am assuming that maybe the taste of my milk changed and he didn't want to taste it anymore, he just wanted to suck for comfort. :) This was so disappointing to me! I had to make a decision, but I didn't want it to be my own. Well he is old enough to understand, so I told him that it hurt mommy really bad when he nurses that way and he needed to nurse right or he could not nurse anymore. sad. :( He has not nursed in almost 3 weeks. I am assuming that he may be weaned. This has been an emotionally hard time for us, but also a time to look forward and grow and learn. I am glad I got to nurse him for 2 1/2 wonderful and challenging years. But I now look forward to having a new nursing relationship with the new little one coming at the end of the summer. For now Will and I have lots of cuddle time. :)

Whip 'Em Out!

Now reading...

A new library branch opened in Davenport and it is so awesome! It is bursting with tons of amazing new books that I just could not walk by with out picking up. So naturally I overwhelm myself by checking out a huge stack of books and hope to get them read by the time they are due back. Not to mention I have a few other books I am thumbing through at home as well. Most likely they will have to be renewed at least once. :) Well anyways, here is the list from top to bottom...

The Happiest Toddler on the Block by Harvey Karp

So far this book has had some good advice on eliminated tantrums. I have heard lots of good stuff about this book from a few friends who have read it so I am really looking forward to digging into it more.

Mrs. Meyers Clean Home by Thelma Meyer

Lots of awesome advice on cleaning from the heart of Mrs. Meyer herself. She is a Mom of 9 and now grandma as well and from Des Moines. She is witty and wise explaining in simple detail how and when to clean and organize just about anything in your home...also with what products as well.

Softies Only a Mother Could Love by Jess Redman and Meg Leder

...fun loving little critters to sew.

The Kind Diet by Alicia Silverstone

I actually read this one first and I am pretty much done with it now. I have had this book on hold for a while now so I was super anxious to dig into it. It was full of awesome recipes some of which I will be sharing with you guys at some point. I also enjoyed reading about her experience with food and trying different diets such as vegan, raw foods, etc. and how she found that macrobiotics and listening to her body was key.

Superfoods for Healthy Kids by Lucy Berney

Has over 250 immune-boosting foods and recipes that are appealing to the kiddos. Lots of colorful pictures and faces. That is my favorite part about food/cookbooks; I am definitely drawn to the pictures first. :)

The Gentle Art of Domesticity by Jane Brocket

Stitching, baking, nature, art and the comforts of home...this book just looked like it was full of coolness so I snatched it.

Sock and Glove by Miyako Kanamori

This book is sooo cute! It shows step for step how to make several little softie friends out of old socks and gloves. I have always wanted to make Will a real homemade sock monkey. Hopefully I get around to it. :)

Apartment Therapy Design Solutions by Maxwell Gillingham-Ryan

I most likely will just look at all the pictures in this book rather then really reading it. In fact I have already thumbed through it a couple of times. It is a very large book full of awesome designed apartments. I often go to apartment therapy.com for lots of inspiration so I was super excited to see this book at the library.

...as you are going.

photo credit: anna maria horner

"Go and make disciples..." The grammatical understanding of "go" literally means "as you are going." So why do we always have to think BIG. In order to be a disciple or do what God wants for me doesn't have to involve across the world mission trips. It could and that is awesome! We could sit for hours, days, or years to wait and see what God has planned for us, or we could do as we are going.

"Serving God is going with what you know to do today with all the passion you have." -Gloria Gaither

If you were to live with all the passion you have each day, how would this change your view of things in life? As a stay at home mom I sometimes think...what are my dreams? What am I supposed to do in life? Am I really making a difference? Until I realized that I am doing the most important thing as we speak; raising a child to love the Lord. There is cooking, and cleaning, and piles of laundry and going to the park, and playing with blocks, etc...but to go at all that passionately is creating interest in the Lord for Will. It may seem little, but it is BIG. Our pastor at Heritage Church once said that we create interest in our leader only to the degree that we are authentic followers. So, as I am going through my day I should do it passionately, authentically, and know that these are my purposes for now.

p.s. Just so you know I write about such things not because I have mastered it (quite the opposite actually), but more as a reminder for myself. :)

Does he sleep through the night?..ahh!!

(picture of Will at 1 week old.)

Does he sleep through the night?...Ahhh!! Why is this always one of the first questions someone asks you when they meet your child? Whether your baby is 3 months old or 2 years old there seems to be some sort of belief in our culture that they should have the same sleep pattern as an adult. I find it odd that we think this when in reality more than 50% of babies younger than 2 years of age wake up during the night. It seems that "sleeping through the night" becomes an important goal for so many moms and when it is not accomplished or we choose not to "train" our babies we feel like we are failures. Why?...The only reason I can think of is that we may look like we are doing something wrong as a parent. Absolutely not! I am not an expert by any means, but I have read through several infant sleep books with all sorts of philosophies thinking that my baby was not normal only to learn that after reading these books by child is totally normal. Not only is my child normal, but that many other moms feel the same way, and we shouldn't need a book to tell us that. Sometimes we even feel as if we have to tell a little white lie about how many times our baby wakes up in the night in order to look like our child is normal. hmm...that's not good; and we should not have to feel this way.

Why don't they sleep through the night?...the simplest answer that I came up with is that a baby's nervous system is not quite fully developed yet. A baby's brain is only one-quarter of adult size at birth, compared with at least one-half adult size in other animals. (...at least that is the info. I have gathered from a few different resources.) This makes human babies the least capable and most dependant on their parents of any species. Then as the baby grows they start teething, they go through all sorts of developmental stages. They wake up wanting to crawl because they know that they can. There are many times that our babies become overstimulated, just like adults do. We all have nights were we have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep. Our baby may wake up more frequently to nurse then the night before because they simply might be going through a growth spurt or may be fighting some sort of sickness and they need those extra antibodies from the breast milk to help fight it off. Maybe they just want the comfort of their mama for a few minutes. There is a full list of reasons a baby may wake up in the night; things we can help control and others that we cannot, but we can always be a comfort...and sometimes that is all they really want anyways. I think that is okay.

As many of you know I like to quote Peggy O'Mara. She is never biased and always full of wisdom that comes straight from her heart and her experience as a mother. Below is a caption from an essay she wrote about night waking...

"Infants are not supposed to conform to our convenient 20th century sleep schedule, our nine-to-five lives inside our houses. They are preceded by 100,000 generations of hunter-gatherers. They expect to be carried. They cannot soothe themselves. Our response to their needs creates a model for the internal psychological structures by which they will eventually be able to soothe themselves. Babies' cries are an instinct and a resource. The reason it hurts in our bellies when we hear a baby cry is because it's supposed to. We are not supposed to be able to endure a baby's cry. It is what ensures a baby's survival. We have to take care of the baby to alleviate our own suffering. If you have a baby who wakes during the night, know that it is perfectly normal. You can go to your baby with comfort and affection, and he or she will learn comfort and affection. If you find your baby's night waking terribly inconvenient, you can go to a sleep clinic where your baby will be diagnosed with a "sleep disorder" and where people who have learned about babies in institutions or through studies will give you permission to control your child's behavior so that it will no longer be inconvenient to you. If, instead, you would consider this inconvenience part of the job description of a parent, and if you realize that this first conflict of needs sets the tone for all future conflicts with your child, then you may want to consider the corny old adage that has been passed down from generation to generation:"When they're young, they step on your toes. When they're old, they step on your heart. You can be sure they will step on your heart when they are old if you do not let them step on your toes when they are young."

It is normal.

This also leads into co-sleeping and bed sharing. Does that have an effect on whether my baby will sleep better?...maybe so, maybe not...I guess you have to decide what really matters to you. Co-sleeping is the norm in most human societies. It not only strengthens the bond, but is safer and said to be important in helping your child develop into a loving, self-confident, and independent person. There are many studies on this and there are soooo many benefits of having a family bed that I could get into, but we may have to save that for another day. Many people have asked us why we chose to do this, and the real reason is that ultimately Will chose to sleep with us. When we were planning for Will to come we decided that we were not going to choose a way of sleep, but leave it open for what our baby adapted to best. We had a crib set up in another room and a co-sleeper set up next to our bed. The first night at home with Will I put him in the co-sleeper next to our bed and he kept spitting up a lot each time I would lay him down inside that thing. I was a naive new mama, freaking out, and did not know what to do. He kept crying and crying...and I realized that the only way he was content was in our bed right next to me. He was right next to me where we could hear and feel each other breathing. We tried a few different ways of sleeping, but it did not take us long to figure out that we all slept best and were most comfortable with him in our bed. We loved hearing his sweet sounds in the night, and waking up to him rolling over with a smile. It increased my milk supply tremendously, and he has always been well fed and healthy. It has been especially nice for Thad being able to share this time with him because as a busy grad student there were many nights when he wouldn't even get to see Will. They have been able to bond through sleeping together. I don't think I really was ever sleep deprived because I never had to actually get up in the middle of the night and spend hours feeding. We just cuddled in close and nursed while sleeping. It is incredibly relaxing! I love that we have had this bonding time together... As for now at just 16 months old Will was starting to get extremely squirely and we were all getting a bit uncomfortable and not sleeping as well. Maybe this is just a phase, but it was the cue to try something new. We got the futon mattress all set up in a nice comfy bed for Will and he got so excited about it. Every time he walks into the room he gasps with excitement and pounces on the bed. He for now sleeps on a futon mattress low to the ground. There are many nights that I end up in bed with him, but also nights where I wake up in my own bed only to realize that we all are sleeping much better now. Maybe in a few months he might sleep better back in our bed and maybe he never will want to again, but we learned that the coolest of experiences happen when we really listen to our child and what he needs from us and not focusing on what a book tells us to do. I do miss him in bed with us, and still cherish those moments when I do get to nurse him in the night. It is our quiet time together when really nothing else is going on. It's just us.

I believe it is important to set up a good bedtime routine and to help guide these little ones in the direction of good sleep, but like any other developmental stage sleeping through the night happens at the pace of each individual baby. The question I often ask myself when feeling overwhelmed by society is...Are my baby's wakeful ways truly upsetting me, or does the problem lay more in the perceptions of those around me?

Your baby's sleep is only a problem if you feel they are.

My Inspiration

I found this video on Mothering tonight and was blown away by its beauty! This is my inspiration, along with all the other wonderful homebirth stories I have been reading. But Lindsey and I have something in common. I have experienced a Cesarean (as did she) and I am ready for a VBAC! (I am NOT telling you I am pregnant...sorry) :) I am getting educated and healthy and if anyone has any good reads or advice as far as VBAC or preferably HBAC, please let me know. thanks!...and enjoy the video.

My Journey to a VBAC from Lindsey Meehleis on Vimeo.

The Beauty of Community

I recently read an article by Peggy Omara on the Mothering website about the longing for community. I was so intrigued by her thoughts it made me think about this subject a little more. She said "as humans we perceive ourselves as part of a dyad before we perceive ourselves as individuals"... but yet we seem to think we need to do everything on our own. (I know I think that way sometimes.) We need community. We were created to live with people; we are not supposed to be alone.  Community= to be together in unity. There are so many communities to be a part of: our country, our state, our local town, our church, our family, our friends, online communities, and many other common interest communities.

So, we know community is important and that there are a ton of options, but how do we find it?I think of perfect community as finding that perfect friend that you share everything with including the exact same interests and morals. I have realized that I may be going in circles meeting new friends, touching the surface and moving on because I am not going to be exactly like one other person. We find it where we are. Finding community is going deeper with the people we are already with. Making a point to show up and see each other, really paying attention to what has heart and meaning, and always telling the truth with out judging. It does not matter what you have in common as long as you respect each other.

Often I wake up in the morning and have my day mostly planned out in my head, or at least what I know I need to get done around the house. If these things are not accomplished I feel like I have failed, my mind is cluttered, and sometimes my disappointment shows when my husband gets home...it's not much fun for him. I am realizing that life is short. It is not all about accomplishing  as much as possible, it is about being together and supporting each other. Fellowship. Community.

I read a spectacular article about finding community as a mother. I don't know why but I was almost in tears...I guess because I have never thought of community as such a beautiful thing. "Finding Your Tribe: Feed Your Soul While Feeding Your Kids" by Teresa Pitman. If you have not read this article you must! Here is a small part of the article so you can get an idea.

"Vicki and I are cleaning out her fridge. The vegetable bins have somehow warped and have to be jiggled out, revealing a slimy green pepper and a distinctly brown head of iceberg lettuce. Laughing at the disgusting items, Vicki holds open the lid of the compost bucket, and I dump in the veggie remains. A minute later my toddler wanders into the kitchen and tugs at my shirt. While I sit cross-legged on the floor and nurse her, Vicki washes out the bins and hands out crackers to her two children and my three year old. Then, with everyone fed and content for a few more minutes, we start on the next shelf of the fridge. By the end of the day, when our husbands arrive, we'll have cleaned the bathrooms, vacuumed all the floors, finished a couple of loads of laundry, and prepared a meal for both families to enjoy. And tomorrow we'll do it all over again at my house."

 Working together, being there for each other, watching the children grow, and satisfying the need for adult friendship while taking care of the children. They cried together, laughed together, and grew together as a little community.

Wow! What a beautiful thing!...This article has pushed me to get out of my box. I am not shy...but very independent, maybe a bit controlling, and definitely feel like I need to do everything myself. While realizing this lately I have appreciated my time so much with my friends, asked more questions about them, engage in their life to show them I care. I want to be there to help and not be selfish of my time. My house has been more of a mess...yes I still make it a priority to pick up, but if it is not spotless I am ok with inviting a friend over. Everyone knows that we actually live here. I have been super blessed with such a great small group of friends from church, cherish the time I have with my LLL mamas and their wise advice, and have really engaged in conversation on the Mothering forums. I have always been one to read in the forums, but this week I realized how much alike I am to many other moms and when we talk and share life I learn so much. The due date clubs were a great community that satisfied my need to know what other pregnant women were going through at the same time I was. If you are expecting I would definitely check those out.

The love of our neighbor in all its fullness simply means being able to say, "What are you going through?"

Simone Weil

Hope you all have a fantastic day!

Happy Mama's Day!

Every night while nursing Will to sleep I pray for him and then lay him down on the bed. Tonight after nursing him I just held him for a while thinking about how blessed I am. That I got the opportunity to be a mommy. The day he was born I realized that there was this new love that I had never experienced before. My love for him is so strong, and being a mama is the best thing in the world! I never imagined that it would be as hard as it is at times. I never imagined that I could love and adore him so much. I love what I do, and I could never imagine life any other way. 

Today was the perfect mothers day full of sunshine and flowers and cards and giggles and walks and brunch and church. Thad's parents and my sister and her husband came to visit because Will got dedicated at church. He was such a hoot! Kicking and smiling...making the whole congregation laugh. :)

 We had the priveledge of dedicating Will with our good friends Lincoln and Oliver. (mamas-Amber and Virginia) We have been so blessed with such good friends here in the Quad Cities. A group of "mostly newly weds" got together almost a couple years ago now for a small group study once a week. No one started with kids and suddenly we all got pregnant with in two months of each other. We all had boys! It has been so much fun sharing this journey with them.

I hope all you mamas out there had a spectacular mother's day! You deserve it!

Positive Homemaking

There was an article in Family Circle Magazine that Nancie Carmody wrote about being positive and thankful. She wrote about how she was thankful that the alarm clock went off "because it means I'm alive!" and when her clothes fit snugly "because it means i have enough to eat" and when there was cooking, cleaning, and fixing "because it means I have a home" and when she was exhausted at the end of the day "...because it means I have been productive."

After reading this I realized that I have more blessings than I think, but sometimes I have tochose to be grateful in life's challenges. I am going to try to keep this in mind this week and see how much more exciting life can get! I am going to practice gratitude, learn to be content, laugh a lot, put away my negative thoughts, and adjust my focus on what the apostle Paul says...

"Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things."

Each day next week I will be posting something about gratitude and a positive attitude. I feel if I continue this for a few days it will more likely become a bigger part of my life. So those that want to join me should visit me back here next week. I would love to hear what you are thankful for, what has been a blessing in your life, and how you have learned to be content.

For starters here is a list of 12 things I love about homemaking and being a mommy...

1. I can lay down and snuggle and giggle with Will anytime I want.

2. Yummy smells in the kitchen.

3. I get to keep learning how to make my home a special place...slowly decorating each room to     make them come alive.

4. Watering and watching my plants grow.

5. I get to wear my sweats as long as I want.

6. The humm of my sewing machine and that I get to make things with beautiful fabrics.

7. The warmth of the clothes when they get out of the dryer.

8. The smell of a freshly bathed baby.

9. The excitement of trying a new recipe and chopping colorful veggies.

10. Capturing everything during the day with my camera.

11. I can take full advantages of the seasons-getting outside during the day or enjoying a view         from the window.

12.I like serving for the Lord, and He called me to do this.

Have a lovely weekend, hope to hear from you next week.

to nurse=nourisher

image by emily999

"...we proved to be gentle among you as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her own children." I Thess. 2:7.

I asked my husband the other day if he ever wishes he was a mother...haha...he did not quite get it, of course he doesn't, he is a man. It has just come to my attention lately that I feel so blessed to be a mother and all the duties that come with it, especially being able to feed my baby. What a great feeling it is to be the primary nourisher. Will has gotten pretty chubby, so I know he is nourished. The Greek word for nurse is nourisher. Will is now over 4 months old and has really caught on to feeding and can eat quit quickly now. I think back to when he was a newborn and how difficult it was for both of us to catch on to nursing(maybe because I had a c-section or maybe not), but enduring through it was well worth it! I compiled a list of things I have learned along the way about breastfeeding, the blessings, and the benefits of it. Some of you may agree and have similar experiences and maybe some of you will learn something you did not know. I am not an expert but it was such a mystery to me before having a child. It is one of those things I did not quite understand until I started to do it.  I just feel I need to share this with everyone because first of all it is God's design, but also because being social about it and sharing your experiences helps boost confidence...and this is about something so important. There are many things I experienced through nursing that I thought I was the only one it happened to, when in reality it was totally normal; people just don't like to talk about it. So here is my list, feel free to comment on any stories/blessings you have experienced as well, I would love to hear about it.

*Nursing satisfies babies hunger/thirst, but also is a way to comfort.

*feeding on que helps him to not only grow strong, but to learn to trust.

*No emphasis on schedules: not looking at the clock.-Sometimes Will likes to eat every hour and half or less, but then other times he may want to sleep for 3 hours and then eat.

*I have read it is impossible to run out of milk if I have been feeding frequently enough (so far that is the case)

*I learned that it is ok that he does not sleep through the night, that is the way his body was designed for now. Why does everyone think of that as a negative thing?

*Breastfeeding is preventative against breast cancer for mamas.

*I learned that babies use 100% protein from the mother's milk and less than 50% can be absorbed from cow's milk or formula, so that baby has to take twice as much, which is extra work on the kidneys.

*nursing is a good way for me to loose weight faster-I gained a lot during my pregnancy, but I learned that that extra weight was needed for energy while breastfeeding.

*I learned Will's que for feeding is sucking his fist or crying...but I learned that it is better to catch him before he starts crying so he doesn't get to worked up.(That is a benefit for having him sleep close to me at night)

*when he cries I can put him up to my breast and that usually takes care of whatever he needs(hungary or comfort) unless he is gassy.:)

*it is less work: I don't need to prepare a bottle, it is ready anywhere and anytime.

*the breastmilk is packed full of great immunities that is needed for my babies development.

*I realized that I liked wearing nursing tank tops ($12.00 at target), because it is not only more comfortable, but makes it easier to cover up when I am not nursing at home.

*going to La Leche League-talking with other mothers helps to understand and boost confidence.

*It makes me want to have more children; the closeness and the love.

*I learned that the earlier and the more often you nurse gets you off to a good start and boosts your milk supply.(just making it a priority)

*I never used a bottle, pacifier, or nipple shields and Will seemed to be just fine.(Using these might create nipple confusion and interrupt with latching on)

*I learned that position is important. He can not swallow well when his body is not straight or his mouth is not open wide enough.

*making a nursing station at home for those early months with pillows, a stool under my feet, water(it makes me super thirsty), a snack(need an extra 500 caleries a day while feeding), my phone and a book or the remote.

*nursing laying down helps me get an extra few minutes to sleep- although is still kind of hard while milk supply is really strong. I have woke up in a puddle of milk a few times. :)

*Even though Will was in the NICU for a week they were able to bring in a cot for me to sleep there at night so I could encourage him to eat as often as possible. (early and often)

*I learned that talking to him and encouraging him to eat helped to keep him awake and eating, or openning my mouth wide for him to see what to do.

*I found that taking a hot shower, or expressing a little milk (hand or pump) helped my boobs to feel better :)

*expressing also helps build up milk supply while baby is still learning to latch on.

*I read that there is foremilk and hindmilk. The milk that comes out first is thinner and has a bluish tint which satisfies the baby's thirst, and then toward the end is the hindmilk which looks more milky, thick and white, which satisfies the baby's hunger. (Wow, this was definitely God designed, it is so detailed)

*it can be challenging, messy and time consuming, but is God's design in infant nutrition so that's why I do it.

For more information click here for a good article.

"Yet you are He who brought me forth from the womb; you made me trust when upon my mother's breasts."-Psalm 22:9.

10 things that surprised me about having a newborn

So, this is my life right now...feed Will, take a nap, try to clean house but get interrupted, change diaper and repeat.It is amazing how selfish my life used to be...going about my own schedule doing things on my own time...and then suddenly one day it is totally the opposite!! Somedays I barely have time for the necessities, like eating, showering, sleeping, going to the bathroom. It is all on the baby's time. It is huge adjustment, but I just look at Will's adorable little face and realize that it is all worth it. Will is now 5 weeks old, and about a week ago he really started responding to my words with lots of smiles and cooing. He melts my heart, I feel so fortunate that I am able to stay home with him, but here are a few things that surprised me with having a newborn:

1. The color of breastfed babies poop. Its like nacho cheese!
2.how many times a day I would be changing diapers...we go through way too many.
3.how fast the day goes by, sometimes it is 3:00 before I even get to eat lunch.
4.How many large and heavy gadgets you accumulate for such a tiny person.
5.all the noises he makes that make me a paranoid mother..is he breathing too fast??...etc.
6.projectile pooping on the carpet.(Its like a mustard pump!)
7.Watch out for the sprinkler with boys.:)
8. no matter how much laundry i do, there is always more.
9.there is no schedule with a newborn...it will take a few months.
10.how fast he grows...he will wake up literally looking bigger.

Birth Story

Although my story is the exact opposite of how we had planned, it is still such a miracle and we are more than blessed with such a beautiful healthy baby boy. It is hard to explain how amazing the experience of a child coming into the world is, and even more so your own child.....so it was October 2, 2008 when Thad and I decided to go get some spicy food at a local mexican restaurant to try and get labor started. We ordered our meal and Thad said something funny.....I laughed and my water broke all over the resteraunt booth! I ran to the car as Thad payed for his drink and got applauded by others around us who knew what happened...very embarrassing! :) We could hardly believe this was finally happening, I was starting to feel like I was going to be pregnant forever. It was only about an hour later when I was in the shower that contractions started. (about 8:30). We went out to target and walmart to get a few things and quickly headed home for I really started to feel contractions getting stronger and closer together. Our doula, Vicki, arrived and helped me cope through each contraction; she and Thad alternating pressing on my back. Things seemed to be moving fast; having front and back labor at the same time was becoming unbearable and I began feeling really sick to where we thought maybe I was moving into transition stage so we called Kim, my midwife, and she got here as soon as possible. Checking me when she got here I was dilated at 7 cm....so we thought it wouldn't be long...but the night seemed to go on and on forever, now of which I recall being a blur. I labored at home for 28 hours!! I got to 9 cm and never felt the urge to push. They gave me a little more time to try and progress but then after checking me again Kim realized that I backtracked to 7 cm and she thought the baby had turned posterior, and we could not get it turn back. The only way we all felt comfortable at this point was going to the hospital. It was not what I wanted to happen, but my birth team was tired and I could not hold on much longer in this pain having not slept or eaten anything in a couple of days. Everyone at the hospital was so great in letting me stick it out a little longer so that I could still have the chance of delivering this baby naturally...but 12 hours later with no progression at all they decided it was becoming dangerous for the baby being a couple of days since my water broke. He was at high risk for infection, the only choice was a c-section. At this point I was exhausted and wanted whatever was best for the baby. The doctors had to give me a spinal anesthesia, and wow! I never felt better. I couldn't feel anything in the bottom half of my body and after 40 hours of labor this was amazing! I went in for the surgery and 5 minutes later the baby was out! William Thad was born on Saturday, October 4, 2008 at 12:42 p.m. at 7 lbs. 4 oz and 20 inches long. I could hardly believe how fast it happened. Thad watched, announced the sex, and was the first one to hold the baby. He was able to bring him over to put him up to my head while they stitched me back up. The whole experience was so surreal I could hardly believe that was the baby inside me. The reason I was not progressing was because Will's head was tilted sideways not allowing it to drop any further. Unfortunately because my water had been broken for so long, Will had an elevated C Reactive Protein count (a marker in the blood for inflammation) and had to stay in the intensive care for 7 days on antibiotics. Once again it was not what we had planned, but he progressed so well and we got to take him home today. It was kind of emotional when he got his IV taken out and all the cords from the monitors taken off...he was finally free! We have never appreciated being home so much, and we are so thankful for this beautiful, healthy baby boy. Thanks to all of you for your prayers. Here are a few new pictures...

Daddy and Will.....
Will's first bath in the hospital....


...and the day we were all waiting for...taking Will home!!!
(It took him a few minutes to get used to the car seat)